Welcome back, everyone. It's a new, delightfully Original lite-to-free season. Let's dive right in (no offense, Stefan). Are you with me? Okay.
Stefan is still trapped underwater, in a safe. Silas is walking around in his true face. Since that true face is identical to Stefan's, I may continue to call Silas Stylus, because it helps me remember who I'm looking at.
Bonnie is but a ghost. Since Jeremy can see dead people though, she is using him to text her friends as if she's still alive, because yes -- learning that Jeremy and Bonnie have deceived them for months, will surely lessen the pain when her loved ones finally learn of her passing, right? Ugh. Why did death make her stupid? Or okay, stupider.
Tyler has been and continues to be out of town, helping some Appalachian werewolf pack. It's time for the show to fish or cut bait, with Tyler. All these extended absences are leaving his character with the emotional resonance of a waterlogged corpse (no offense, Stefan). Caroline has spent the summer planning the decor of the Whitmore College dorm she'll be sharing with Elena. And yes, I'd scoff at using decor in conjunction with dorm, but this is fantasy TV. The dorm room is nicer and more spacious than any given room in my house.
Damon and Elena have spent the summer shagging, but all good things must come to an end. Witness: Katherine. Now that she's human, I understand that Kiki has lost all her vampiric powers. Where I'm struggling is that is appears said powers include the skill to remove smudged, day-old eye makeup, and the ability to run a comb through her hair. Even when in a setting as flattering as Damon's bubble-filled tub, without her beast within, this beauty looks like a drowned rat (no offense, Stefan).
Stylus is after Katherine. Damon agrees to let her hide out at Mossy Manse. When Stylus finds Kiki in the tub, she at first thinks he's Stefan, but learns the truth soon enough. As she's fleeing the house, Damon and Jeremy return home. Damon orders Jeremy to take off with Katherine, but once they're alone, Stylus informs Damon that he knows where the real Stefan is, and he'll only give that information, in exchange for our once (and hopefully -- future) fair Kiki.
Meanwhile, Matt and Rebekah return from their European debaucheries. Rebekah heads off to New Orleans and her new series, while Matt returns to what promises to be a dangerous and unsatisfying existence, because it's going to play out, in Mystic Falls. Still, he's back to work, and struggling to keep his head above water (no offense, Stefan), until he runs into Nadia, a woman with whom he and Rebekah had a completely time-slot inappropriate evening, which culminated with Nadia stealing the Gilbert Protect-o ring that Matt had been wearing. Nadia claims to have traveled from Prague to the Falls, just to return the ring, but once Matt puts it back on, a man comes up behind him, grabs his Matt's head and incants something in a foreign language, which causes Matt's baby blues to turn totally black, like he's suddenly the demonic part of a Supernatural crossover event.
The episode is not without its casualties. Elena and Caroline's new roommate (who drinks vervain water, and has a picture of herself with Dr. Gilbert) is killed by a vampire. Stylus kills the Mayor, aka Bonnie's Interim Dad, and Jeremy is nearly killed, when Katherine grabs the steering wheel of his car and crashes it into a pole, so she can avoid being returned to Stylus. Damon opens a vein, saves the boy's life, which he certainly owes him.
Just as I'm not big on pilots, I am not crazy about season premieres. "I Know What You Did Last Summer," sets all the pieces in place, but I had a hard time remaining engaged. I think some of that is me, though. I have some nits to pick and will do so in the full recap. True confession: in this recaplet, I'm just trying to tread water (no offense, Stefan).
Stefan is still trapped underwater, in a safe. Silas is walking around in his true face. Since that true face is identical to Stefan's, I may continue to call Silas Stylus, because it helps me remember who I'm looking at.
Bonnie is but a ghost. Since Jeremy can see dead people though, she is using him to text her friends as if she's still alive, because yes -- learning that Jeremy and Bonnie have deceived them for months, will surely lessen the pain when her loved ones finally learn of her passing, right? Ugh. Why did death make her stupid? Or okay, stupider.
Tyler has been and continues to be out of town, helping some Appalachian werewolf pack. It's time for the show to fish or cut bait, with Tyler. All these extended absences are leaving his character with the emotional resonance of a waterlogged corpse (no offense, Stefan). Caroline has spent the summer planning the decor of the Whitmore College dorm she'll be sharing with Elena. And yes, I'd scoff at using decor in conjunction with dorm, but this is fantasy TV. The dorm room is nicer and more spacious than any given room in my house.
Damon and Elena have spent the summer shagging, but all good things must come to an end. Witness: Katherine. Now that she's human, I understand that Kiki has lost all her vampiric powers. Where I'm struggling is that is appears said powers include the skill to remove smudged, day-old eye makeup, and the ability to run a comb through her hair. Even when in a setting as flattering as Damon's bubble-filled tub, without her beast within, this beauty looks like a drowned rat (no offense, Stefan).
Stylus is after Katherine. Damon agrees to let her hide out at Mossy Manse. When Stylus finds Kiki in the tub, she at first thinks he's Stefan, but learns the truth soon enough. As she's fleeing the house, Damon and Jeremy return home. Damon orders Jeremy to take off with Katherine, but once they're alone, Stylus informs Damon that he knows where the real Stefan is, and he'll only give that information, in exchange for our once (and hopefully -- future) fair Kiki.
Meanwhile, Matt and Rebekah return from their European debaucheries. Rebekah heads off to New Orleans and her new series, while Matt returns to what promises to be a dangerous and unsatisfying existence, because it's going to play out, in Mystic Falls. Still, he's back to work, and struggling to keep his head above water (no offense, Stefan), until he runs into Nadia, a woman with whom he and Rebekah had a completely time-slot inappropriate evening, which culminated with Nadia stealing the Gilbert Protect-o ring that Matt had been wearing. Nadia claims to have traveled from Prague to the Falls, just to return the ring, but once Matt puts it back on, a man comes up behind him, grabs his Matt's head and incants something in a foreign language, which causes Matt's baby blues to turn totally black, like he's suddenly the demonic part of a Supernatural crossover event.
The episode is not without its casualties. Elena and Caroline's new roommate (who drinks vervain water, and has a picture of herself with Dr. Gilbert) is killed by a vampire. Stylus kills the Mayor, aka Bonnie's Interim Dad, and Jeremy is nearly killed, when Katherine grabs the steering wheel of his car and crashes it into a pole, so she can avoid being returned to Stylus. Damon opens a vein, saves the boy's life, which he certainly owes him.
Just as I'm not big on pilots, I am not crazy about season premieres. "I Know What You Did Last Summer," sets all the pieces in place, but I had a hard time remaining engaged. I think some of that is me, though. I have some nits to pick and will do so in the full recap. True confession: in this recaplet, I'm just trying to tread water (no offense, Stefan).
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